About Leadership Development

It’s 3 a.m. and rather than lying awake counting sheep, I decided to write about what’s on my mind.

I really get passionate about learning about leadership, especially the kind that relates to the development of the inner person. After all, isn’t that the place where we are most empowered, and our greatest potential is developed?

I’ve been reading a book recently that is giving a more succinct expression to a lot of things I’ve believed in for a long while but hadn’t articulated so well. So has it got my attention? You bet!

I love those leadership models where you coach your team from modeling the values you want to see developed. And you empower them by bringing out the best in them, and using your power to enable them by providing what they need for the task and guiding from the sidelines as they make their plays from their training and inner rich resources. I love to see them working hand-in-hand, pooling strengths that will supersede working as lone rangers.

This model works on abundance, not scarcity, collaboration, not competition (except maybe with the team working beside you, or another business), community, not isolation. It values the contribution of each individual, and encourages an openness built on trust and respect. And most of all, it treats people as valuable resources, not things.

Isn’t it strange that on a tax statement, machinery is an asset while people are a loss? Somewhere along the line we’ve got it all mixed up. It’s time we began to see the incredible resource we have in people, even if we don’t get it right on our tax statements for a while.

One of the reasons I’m so passionate about Personality is because of the incredible light it sheds on our career choices and contributions to society. I was in my 20’s before I had any insight at all into the kind of person I am. I had little idea of why I responded to life the way I do, what motivated me, what type of perspective I brought to life, what I was especially gifted to do.

When it came to my areas of talent, I saw others as inferior to me, while I was just normal. And I saw myself inferior to a lot of people in other areas. As I began to study Personality, I began to see myself as talented in certain areas while others were just normal, and normal where others were talented. No longer was there a deficit sheet, but rather an opportunity for admiration, new respect and praise.

At one time, I thought I had to be good at everything or I was a failure. After studying Personality, I saw that I could be great at a few things and celebrate the greatness of others where I was just average. Instead of having to bluff my way along, which isn’t even honest, I could relax and let others shine as well.

I remember once when I was the leader of a volunteer group. There were a bunch of jobs I didn’t much like, but felt I couldn’t possibly insult any of my workers by handing them over to them. So I plugged along, hating it, and doing just a mediocre job. Now when you do that, you tend to invite the criticism of those who are talented in that area, because they can just naturally flow with that job because of their giftedness in that area.

Finally, one of my workers volunteered to do the jobs I hated. I was flabbergasted and quickly gave them the “pleasure’, which indeed turned out to be a pleasure for them, and a job done in a much superior manner to what I’d done. I was thrilled, because they just made me more successful, and allowed me to concentrate on those things that I do best.

That was my first conscious “aha!” to Personality-based team building, and it hasn’t been the last.

Understanding the special characteristics, needs and contributions of each member of a team and using this information strategically is one of the most successful manoevers a leader can make towards becoming great.

People are the greatest resources we can employ. In spite of the incredible advances of machinery in the Industrial Age, we have yet to discover a fraction of what we can gain when we tap the inner potential of the human individual in the Knowledge Age.

As the saying goes, “We are fearfully and wonderfully made.” The human spirit, released in passionate creativity and leadership for the well-being of the generation they serve, is a force that will go beyond all we’ve seen before if we will but tap that potential.

Leadership isn’t a position so much as it is an attitude, a readiness, a courage to confront the issues of life. We can all be leaders as we develop our inner understanding and potential, whether in our homes, our community, our workplace or the world.

It’s time for sleep. Greatness requires the balances of recharging our physical batteries with the pursuit of leadership. I don’t want to be “toast” tomorrow morning, so good night!

Relationship Communication

Here we go again! Another husband and wife relationship issue! And this time it rotates around communication.

Just recently, my husband and I had to sit down and deliberately choose to communicate after a particularly frustrating day where we were going in our own directions. From that discussion , where we were deliberately turning our relationship coaching skills to save our own relationship, we discovered that communication in our relationship was indeed at the root of our present problem.

Furthermore, we were able to see, from our knowledge of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator(R), that our mis-communication was coming from the different perspectives of Sensing and Intuition. (see www.personalitytypes-relatingwell.com for clarification) My husband sees the day-by-day tasks that need attention, and attends to them faithfully. I, on the other hand, see the projected vision of where we need to go, and am always working forward toward those goals.

Our disconnect comes in not seeing the middle ground between our perspectives, and as a result, we can both feel lonely and unsupported by each other. As we take the time to communicate and pray together, we discover that middle ground disappearing, and we begin to blend the creating and the managing of our dreams into a productive blend.

Communication from our hearts, being understood, and understanding others, is at the root of intimacy and personal satisfaction. Whether among spouses, family members, friends, or fellow-workers, relationship communication is a must if we desire a mutually-satisfying relationship.

So what are some things you can do to improve your relationship communication?

1. Be willing to open your heart in appropriate measure to those you want to relate to.
2. Set aside time for the development of successful relationship through communication.
3. Seek to understand the natural perspective of the person through Type understanding. (see website  www.personalitytypes-relatingwell.com)
4. Get relationship coaching! Become a student of Type, relationships, and communication skills.
5. Practice with patience. Your love will shine through as your efforts are seen by others.
6. Give the other person time to learn to trust your sincerity & efforts.
7. As you save your relationship, you will find new joy in your life.

We’d be happy to help you gain the skills you need to relate more successfully. We offer one-on-one telecoaching, group webinars, and written materials to support you in becoming more empowered in your relationships and life success. We also offer grief recovery, personal identity and life purpose.

Visit us at our website for more information. www.personalitytypes-relatingwell.com

Longing for more Meaning in your Relationships?

We’re all in this relationship game together. We didn’t come into this world with a User’s Manual on how to get along, and I can’t say for you, but I started out fumbling my way along with only a modicum of success.

I had some good role models, and some really bad ones. I got along with people I understood, and felt threatened by those I didn’t. I didn’t know how to value people with different perspectives, culture or experiences.

But over the last number of years, I’ve become very fascinated with people – all kinds of people – their differences in perspective coming from a wide range of personalities; their experiences, their passions and dreams, and especially their potential.

But none of us reach our potential alone. without exception, the energizing and empowering factor for each individual is the success of their relationships. And for that reason, my desire is to be a catalyst in creating superb relationships.

So I invite you to join me on a journey together as we explore what that User’s Manual should have looked like right from the start!

Are you ready? I hope to see you along the path.

Marg Buller